


there's no sweeter choking hazard than your heart

by nonbinarywithaknife (littleboxes)



Series: just let them REST alex [19]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast), The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Claustrophobia, Gen, Heavy Angst, Panic Attacks, Statement Fic, graphic descriptions of claustrophobia and suffocation but no gore/blood/violence, major character death sort of but not really?, what season does this occur during? i don't know!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23822908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/nonbinarywithaknife
Summary: Statement of Azubuike-“Just Azu is fine.”“Very well.”Statement of ‘Azu’ on...“...”Her encounter with the entity known as The Buried.
Relationships: Azu & Emeka, Azu & Jonathan Sims
Series: just let them REST alex [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1514891
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	there's no sweeter choking hazard than your heart

_Statement of Azubuike-_

“Just Azu is fine.”

“Very well.”

_Statement of ‘Azu’ on..._

“...”

 _Her encounter with the entity known as The Buried_.

“I used to be claustrophobic, you know. When I was younger, I got trapped in a closet overnight. It was nothing purposeful, the lock was old and it broke. But it stayed with me. Doesn’t help I’m not exactly a _small_ person, and I was a big kid, too. My Mum was 6’ and my Dad was 5′8. The closet was small for an average size person. I didn’t have a chance. But anyway.

Usually it wasn’t a problem. The hospital I worked in was big, a lot of windows, and thankfully crowds have never really set it off. All I really had to do was avoid basements and cramped spaces, and that wasn’t too much of a problem.”

 _The Avatar- Azu- takes a second to breathe. Jon’s not sure what he expected an Avatar of the Buried to look like. Covered in dirt, maybe? Coughing up mud? Mostly, she looks like a normal person. Well. She’s just under a foot taller than him, and intimidatingly muscled, but hardly threatening. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s read two statements about her already, and that when she’d put a hand on his shoulder he’d felt like it was made of concrete, pressing him_ down _and_ down- _well. He could almost think she’s normal. Almost._

“But then Emeka’s birthday came around. The thing about Emeka is, one- he loves cave diving. Always has. And two? He’s a firm believer in facing your fears. We’d always been close, but he never understood why I hated the idea of going underground so much. After all, caves are nothing like a cramped utility closet.

Anyway. He asked me to go caving with him. Had a map and route planned out, and he has these enormous puppy eyes. ‘It’s not even an especially hard route, been completely charted. It’s practically a tourist trap,’ he said. ‘Don’t think about it like going underground, it’s like, just walking through a bunch of hallways! In the dark!’

I’d never been very good at putting myself first. I said yes. Convinced myself that I could make it through a few hours underground, and then we’d go out to dinner and I’d never do it again. He was so _excited_ , when I agreed. It almost made my nausea at what I’d promised to do go away.” 

_It’s not fine. Her heart starts to race as soon as they step into the cave. The daylight fades away far too quickly, and Emeka has to remind her to turn on her flashlight. Her hands are shaking. She tries to shake herself out of it. The walls aren’t closing in on them. She’s just_ imagining _things. There isn’t any lock, and her head isn’t even in danger of brushing the ceiling._

It’s Emeka’s birthday, and he’s so excited, and the path they’re taking is one of the most popular and trafficked caves, they’ll be underground for- five hours, max. 

Her hands keep shaking though. She’s not sure how long they’ve been going, it feels like she’s been underground forever. Her heart is trying to jump out of her chest and she’s taken to squeezing the necklace Eren gave her for comfort, and it’s not really working and then Emeka says, “Huh.”

“What? What do you mean, _huh_?”

She leans over to look at his map. 

“Emeka? Is something wrong?” Azu can’t stop a thread of panic from entering her voice. 

Emeka tilts his head. “Nothing, it’s just- we should have seen a turn by now. That’s strange. I’d swear, we should be about through. Maybe we missed it?”

Azu can _hear_ her breathing pick up. The cave walls bounce it back at her until the echo is deafening. She doesn’t know how Emeka can’t hear it. Or maybe he can, because he places a hand on her arm. 

“Don’t worry. It’s _literally_ impossible for us to be lost. We probably just missed the turn off. Worst comes to worst, we’ve ended up on one of the twistier pathways- but they all lead out. Just one more hour, Azu, it’ll be okay.”

Azu knows he’s right, and she also knows what a panic attack feels like when she’s having one, but she tries to breathe and keep going. The only thing that could make this worse is if she stopped _moving_.

She gives him a shaky smile and starts to follow him back the way they came. 

But. Azu’s arms keep scraping the walls. She knows the walls haven’t moved. She’s a large woman- it’s fine. But. Her arms hadn’t hit the walls the first time through. She would _swear_ they hadn’t, and yet- there’s a feeling, a _presence_ that is here, now. She can _feel_ the walls around her. They’re tightening _around her_.

Emeka keeps looking back and forth. The map, the walls. The walls, the map. They’re lost. She _knows_ it. She’s going to be stuck down here forever and the walls are going to keep getting closer and _closer_. They’re so close. She can’t move. She can’t move. She can’t see Emeka anymore and _she can’t breathe_. 

Azu opens her mouth to scream, but there’s no room. Dirt fills her lungs. 

“I- I don’t understand. There’s _no_ way we could have branched off. This whole system’s been completely charted! We just have to keep backtracking. Don’t worry, Azu, we’ll be out in a second. We’re going to be fine. Azu? _Azu!_ ”

Jon swallows nervously as the Avatar- Azu- finishes her story. She tells the story of her own terror, of what anyone else would consider her death, so calmly, and he tries to ignore the way it makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. (The way he can feel himself leaning forward as she speaks.)

“Why… did you come here? Most of… the others, like you, don’t like to give me their statements. Make an effort to avoid them, in fact.”

Honestly, Jon is just worried he’s about to be kidnapped again, but Azu just looks at him. 

“I made a bet. Sasha will be disappointed she lost. It’s too bad, really,” Azu says, and starts to turn to leave.

“Wait, what? Wait, no, who is-?” Jon is stopped by the sudden dryness in his throat, and he doubles over to cough. By the time he can breathe again (and his jumper is covered in more dirt than he’s comfortable with), Azu is gone, and he’s left with more questions than answers. The same as usual, then.

**Author's Note:**

> just a bit of clarification: during azu's statment, she uses active voice in reference to emeka (he is/does) because he is still alive. she uses passive voice in reference to her (i was/did) because while that is azu’s body walking around, she’s fully a buried avatar and isn’t _really_ azu anymore.


End file.
